


hold your hat and hang onto your soul

by aphwhales



Series: hate for the island [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bipolar Disorder, Humanstuck, Mental Health Issues, Psychiatric Hospitals, Suicidal Thoughts, like super mild, pmdd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 14:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12191475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphwhales/pseuds/aphwhales
Summary: October and November 2016:Your name is Aradia Megido, and you want to go home.Your name is Sollux Captor, and you just want to sleep the day away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "finale ultimo (don't feed the plants)" from little shop of horrors
> 
> please note, i do not have bipolar disorder, but i do have pmdd. so with aradia's chapter, i know what i'm talking about.

**October 26 2016**

Your name is Aradia Megido, and you just want to know what’s going on.  
Your mother and stepfather dragged you to Stony Brook this morning, because your PMDD was acting up last night and you wanted to kill yourself. You’ve been here three hours, and you still have not seen your psychiatrist. 

They gave you thin scrubs and warm socks. You and some other patients have thin blankets wrapped around your shoulders. You really hope you won’t have to stay the night, It’s really cold.

You’re a little grumpy today, and it’s not just because of your PMDD. 

“How’s it goin’, kiddo?” It’s the nurse assigned to you. You only shrug and turn back to your crossword puzzle. He walks back into the nurse’s station. 

“Can I use the phone?” You call to the nurse stuck in the ward with you kids. She just nods and turns back to her book. You go to the phone, dial, and lean against the wall while it rings. 

“Hello?”  
“Hey, señor Captor. It’s Aradia.”  
“Oh!” You can nearly picture Sollux’s dad’s face. “I’ll find Sollux for you.” 

You hear him huffing as he walks up the steps. Sollux’s dad, Deuce, is short and stout, and about as good with computers as you are. Which is to say, not at all. Sollux’s other dad, Simon, is tall, and resembles Sollux a bit too much; he’s cranky and snarky, just like Sollux is. They’re in an open relationship or something, because you heard Simon’s been going out with Mr Vantas-Leijon and his wife. You’re not sure what the deal with Deuce is, but you heard he was dating your stepdad at one point. 

Figures, Not like Droog would tell you much anyway. He gives Damara some useful tips though, you’ve heard. 

“Hey, AA.”  
“Sollux! Hi!”  
He grunts on the other side of the phone. “Someone’s cheery for being in the loony bin.”  
You roll your eyes, though you know he can’t see you. “Oh, shut up. It’s a short term place, for one thing. Also, I just got my period so yay! No more wanting to kill myself for the moment!”

“Okay,” Sollux sounds exasperated. “Remind me, just why the FUCK hasn’t your psych upped your meds?” 

“Dunno. Still haven’t seen him.” Talking to Sollux has cheered you up immensely, even if he’s a grumpy shit.  
“Ugh. Fuck that.” There’s some yelling behind him. “Gotta go, AA,” He sighs. “MT’s - HEY WHAT THE FUCK -” The phone cuts out. This happens a lot. Partially because the Captor’s have shitty phone lines, but also usually because of your flip phone. It took Sollux a year to convince you to get it, and you barely use it anyway. What’s the point? You’d rather be adventuring!

Which means digging holes in your backyard with Jake while Sollux sits and complains about the heat. Silly pasty white boy.

You feel much cheerier than you did before talking to Sollux by the time your psychiatrist calls you over.


	2. Chapter 2

**November 20 2016**

Your name is Sollux Captor, and if you move you might actually kill yourself. Not because you’re somewhere dangerous. It’s just turning out to be a blue day. 

You have your blue days the most. Mostly, because in addition to your bipolar disorder, you’re depressed too. What fun, as Aradia would put it sarcastically. Yellow days are the second most frequent. Those are your normal days, where you can almost function like a normal human being. Red days are your least favorite, because mania is no fun. Last time you were manic you spilled Red Bull all over your physics textbook and had to pay eighty dollars for it. 

You’re going to assume it’s the weekend, because the watch you forgot to take off before rolling into bed last night reads 9:06am. 

You still don’t want to move. 

At 11:23, you’re forced to move anyway. You’re rudely awoken by someone jumping on top of you. 

“FUCK MT if that’s you I swear -” Ugh, your lisp is so much worse in the morning.   
“Guess again, amigo!” 

Aradia is sitting above you. On top of you, really. Her dark hair is tied into a ponytail, and even though it’s fall her skin is tanner than yours will ever be. Perks of being Latina and Japanese, she liked to say. 

“You look pastier than usual today,” She giggles. “Gotta get some food in you.”   
“Who the fuck let you in?” You whine, and reach for your glasses. You push them rather hard onto your face and grumble. 

“Deuce. Like your other dad would even be awake.”  
Yeah, dad number 2 is never awake before noon on weekends. And neither are you, usually. 

“What’s the color for today, bee boy?” Aradia asks as she hops off of you and lifts herself to sit on her desk. 

“Blue.”  
“I’m gonna make that blue turn yellow!” She grins. There’s burgundy lipstick on her teeth, which tells you her sister didn’t help her with her makeup this morning. “C’mon, we’re going to the library.”

You scowl. “For what, exactly?”

She disregards your scowl, and replies, “Oh, I don’t know yet. We’ll find something.”

You have a feeling it’s going to be a long, and hopefully yellow day.


End file.
